“Anybody seen Cathy this morning?” LC Roberts asked everyone in general.
“I don’t think she’s getting up anymore,” Teenie Adams volunteered.
“Nonsense,” LC differed. “A little arthritis-“
“It ain’t just a little, LC. Besides that’s not all wrong with that girl. I hear they’re gonna move her on the other side.”
“The other side?” LC gaped at Teenie. Several other residents, including Zelda, grew quiet and still for a moment. The other side was the mental health unit.
“Well, I might have heard wrong, and those cleaning girls don’t always know what they be talking about.”
“Yeah. They always gossiping,” LC agreed and wiped his mouth. “But I think, I’ll shuffle on around before lunch, see how she’s doing.”
“Doubt she even knows who he is,” Curly grumbled and hit a hit note on the piano. He ducked his head down at the glares he received from his fellow residents.
“Zelda, what you got going there?” Patty Jean asked patting at her curly white natural.
“Just a blanket,” Zelda said noticing no one was paying attention to Bob or his beauties at the moment.
“Girl, at your age, I don’t see how you do it.” Patty Jean massaged her own fingers. “My hands are so shaky these days. And don’t even talk about my eyesight.” She moved from her chair to sit beside Zelda on the couch to touch the soft yarn in the blanket.
Zelda quickly pulled it from her slight grasp. “If I hurry, I’ll just get it done before they arrive.”
“Who?”
Zelda looked up at Patty Jean like she was one step away from the other side. “Who you think?”
“You mean the kids?” Patty Jean asked crossing her legs carelessly.
She made Zelda sick always showing off her old dancer’s legs and touch of thigh. Who was she trying to impress anyhow? Most of the men folk could barely hold their pee much less a woman’s attention. Of course Patty Jean was still a show girl at heart and they were different, Zelda supposed. Also Patty Jean wasn’t in her nineties either.
Ninety three years old! Who would’ve thought she’d live so long to outlive all four of her children? People said she was lucky, fortunate even to be walking with the aid of a walker after breaking her back six years ago. She glanced over at the walker just hating the sight of it. Even with it she could not manage to keep up a place of her own, and she couldn’t take living with her crazy granddaughter in law with all her rules. The woman had expected her to just sit in a chair all day watching television. And Danny was too hen pecked to support her when she insisted she could keep up her own bedroom and contribute to the home by sharing light household duties. If she had to feel old and useless, she may as well do it where there were other people like her, who didn’t see her as a burden. At least that’s how she saw it two years ago. Now, all these sick, crazy, old people got on her nerves. She wanted to go home. Sitting in a chair all day watching television wasn’t so bad.
“Well, don’t get your hopes up,” Patty Jean said, adjusting her sweater.
“What?”
“Remember what happened on Thanksgiving.”
“Well, this is Christmas, PJ.”
“Well, this is Christmas, PJ.”
“Last year was Christmas too, and I didn’t see any grandkids.”
“They’d just had a new baby.”
“Yeah, I’m sure that was it.”
Zelda noted the sweet sarcasm but ignored it. “You know, PJ, by New Years I just might be busting out of here.”
“Did Danny tell you that?”
“Nope. I’m telling him.” Zelda appreciated the shocked expression on Patty Jean’s face. “This evening,” she added and tossed her yarn and needled into her knitting bag.
“Don’t you think you ought to wait for his answer before you start announcing stuff like that?”
“PJ, I’ve decided I’m going home. If they don’t want me in theirs, I’ll just have to open mine.”
She walked back down to her private room to pick out a large sewing needle to start on the edging for the baby’s blanket. Then on impulse she went to the closet and chose a red pantsuit. It seemed ages since she last dressed up. She hoped it still fit around the middle.
“That’s lovely, Zelda,” Patty Jean voiced from the doorway.“I always said dark skin like yours was spectacular in red.” She looked down at her own barely brown skin.
“Light skin didn’t exactly hurt your career, did it?”
“I guess not.” Patty Jean lowered her eyes entering the room. “But I was a very good dancer, Zelda.”
“I’m sure you were,” Zelda muttered and laid the pantsuit across the bed.
“You don’t like us very much, do you?” Zelda raised a brow. “Old people, I mean.”
“I don’t belong here, PJ.”
“All right, I hear you. Just don’t expect your grandkids to really care. They don’t have time for a cranky, old, crippled woman.”
“Maybe that’s how it is in your family.”
“Zelda, you are old just like the rest of us. You’re used up as far as young people are concerned, and you need to accept that.”
“Now, that’s where you are wrong.” Zelda grabbed her walker and went to her chest of drawers. She took out some papers and envelopes then shoved them at Patty Jean.
“What is this stuff?”
“Titles and deeds, my dear. I still own my house and car, and I have plenty left in my savings!” The look of astonishment on Patty Jean’s face was priceless. “I have it figured out. All I need is someone to come in two, maybe three times a week to cook and clean. I can have my groceries delivered-“
“Oh Zelda,” Patty Jean sighed. “Don’t you know?”
“Know what?”
“Know what?”
“This property isn’t yours anymore. The state has a lien on it. You can’t possibly pay all that you owe back.”
“Are you nuts?” Zelda snatched her papers back. “The state can’t take a person’s property. Anyway, Danny is paying my bills.”
“Right.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“When was the last time you looked at your bank statements? Do you even know how much it costs to live in a place like this?”
“Danny is an accountant, he told me not to worry about money because he was taking care of my needs.”
“I’m sure he is, dear, but with your money. That’s how it is done. Didn’t you know that?”
“You’re talking nonsense!”
“Ask him then. Call him right now.”
“Just because your family-“
“All right, Zelda.” Patty Jean gave up. “Maybe I am wrong. For your sake, I hope I am,” she added before leaving the room.
“You are wrong.” Zelda slowly lowered herself on the bed and looked at her shoes. White Keds that she wore with everything. “You are wrong,” she repeated stubbornly. “My family loves me.”
~*~
Danny would eat just about anything. His wife sat sideways in her chair as if trying to disassociate herself from the supper table. Maybe the meatloaf was a crumbled up mess, but it tasted all right, Zelda thought. And what did her granddaughter in law think was wrong with a glass of tea or a cup of coffee? Why did she even bother to come visit if everything was so yucky?
“Clarissa, would you like a stick of gum? I got double mint.”
“Oh no, ma’am. I don’t chew gum. It is a disgusting habit.”
“I have some fruit in my room.”
“Miss Zelda, I don’t want your fruit.”
“I guess eating is a disgusting habit too.”
“What?”
“Nothing,” Zelda said and refrained from commenting on Clarissa’s skin and bone figure. Why she wore belts all the time made no sense as it made her seem even more shapeless.“So young man,” Zelda said, hoping to bring Danny’s head up from his plate.“Don’t you get fed at home?”
“Of course, he gets fed.” Clarissa turned around on her. “How do you think he stays so fat?” She gave him a long look filled with disgust.
“Uh, Grandmama.” Danny wiped his greasy thick lips then stared at his plate.
“Just tell her, Danny.” Clarissa crossed her arms and let out a tired breath of air.
“Tell me what?” Zelda went into her bosom and pulled out her checkbook and passbook. She stared at Danny who was still studying on his plate. She pushed the books next to his hands. “Tell me what, Danny?”
“Uh…”
“Miss Zelda-“
“I’m talking to my grand boy. But if you want to tell me why I don’t have a nickel in the bank, go ahead.” She turned to Clarissa.“Explain it to me.”
“You gave us power of attorney. We paid your bills, Miss Zelda.”
“Do I still own my home?”
“Your home?” Clarissa looked at Danny. “What is she talking about?”
“I’m talking about the home I left to live with y’all. Danny, you said I shouldn’t live alone.”
“Oh, Miss Zelda!”
“But I want to go home!”
“Grandmama, we sold the house.”
“How much do I have left from that?”
“Well, you see,” He swallowed hard then picked up his wife’s untouched glass of tea and chugged it.
“You telling me you blew my money and sold my house. And I don’t have anything to my name?”
“Grandmama, you’re all right. This place is one of the best in the state.”
“But you spent all my money?”
“No.”
“Then why is the bank telling me my accounts are closed?”
“I- We just thought all monies should be in one place.”
“One place?”
“In our name,” Clarissa proudly informed her. “We write all the checks to take care of you.”
“Danny!” Zelda felt her heart beating much too fast in her ancient chest. They’d taken all her money and was waiting for her to die. It was much worse than Patty Jean tried to tell her. “Danny!”
“Grandmama, calm down.”
She looked across the cafeteria and found Patty Jean. As if sensing her distress Patty Jean rushed over to take her hands. “Zelda? Is it your angina?”
“Oh PJ!”
“Angina?” Clarissa frowned and rose from her seat.“What’s that? A heart attack?”
“Call the nurse!” Patty Jean shouted and eased Zelda back down in her chair. “Now, just calm down.”
“Grandmama, you all right?” Danny asked, his eyes big as saucers. “She’s okay, isn’t she?”
“How do I know?” Patty Jean snapped. “As if you care anyway,” she mumbled, rubbing Zelda’s cold hands inside her own.
“I beg your pardon?” Clarissa crossed the table to glare at Patty Jean. “Old lady, how dare you talk to my husband like that?”
“PJ, help me out of here!” It was too much to take. All the hard years of work and sacrifice amounted to nothing. Tears poured from her eyes, soaking the front of her blouse.
“It’ll be all right, dear.” Patty Jean put a supportive arm around her waist and began leading her away from her family.
Someone thought to offer them a wheelchair, and Zelda sank down into it and covered her face. For the first time in her long life she felt old, weak and frail. Uncontrollable sobs overtook her body causing her shoulders to heave. She called on her departed husband,” Oh Percy! Save me!”
~*~
“Percy,” she muttered one last time then pulled the door closed against her stiff back. “Have mercy.” She didn’t look at the boy waiting on her to make a move. She looked at her Keds then put one foot in front of the other, making her way down the hallway. In front of the elevator she crossed her arms and waited for the boy to find his key to unlock the elevator.
“Now, where is that thing?” He lightly dropped Zelda’s big suitcase to the thin worn carpet to search his pockets. “Oh, here it is!”He looked at her, giving her a big grin which she didn’t feel like returning.“Ma’am, we gonna get you in your new place-“
“It ain’t new,” she snapped. Her back and hips were killing her. Like a fool, one of the aides had taken her walker ahead with her other personal effects. “And it ain’t my place!”
“Ma’am, I-“
“Boy, just open that damn thing before I die!” Beads of sweat covered her upper lip. “Or do you want me to go down the stairs?”
“Aw, Miss Zelda. Why you acting evil?” He unlocked the elevator, then gave her his biggest grin again. “Sharing a room isn’t so bad.” He gripped the suitcase and pulled it on its raggedy wheels to rest against the back wall.“Want to hold my arm?” He offered her his elbow.
“No, I-” But vanity wasn’t going to help her aching back and hips. And being mean to a kid that was trying to be nice and helpful wasn’t going to get her to her easy chair any quicker. “Thank you,” she said taking hold of his arm. The support of his body did wonders. “Thank you,” she softly repeated and followed him inside the elevator.
~*~
If Patty Jean didn’t cut it out, she was going to scream. What good did yoga do an old body? Every morning she was stretching and bending before Zelda stopped snoring. That was one of the reasons she always preferred a private room. If no one heard you snoring, no one could complain. But Patty Jean never complained. She was one of those eye rollers that also sucked their teeth instead.
“What you working on now?” Patty Jean arched her back and held it. “That’s not another blanket?”
“Nope. Just a shawl. Just about finished.”
“You sure do work fast. Didn’t you start that Monday morning?”
“Like to keep myself busy.”
“Me too.” Patty Jean balanced on one foot and closed her eyes. “That’s why I read books.”
“You mean, you like to escape the real world.” If she wasn’t reading, she was meditating.
“So what happened with that grandson of yours?”
“Nothing.”
“Nothing?” Patty Jean opened her eyes and stared at Zelda like she had suddenly changed colors. “You aren’t letting him off the hook? It’s bad enough you can’t keep a private room. That boy can’t just go through your money and leave you a ward of the state. What about all that stuff he said about taking care of you?”
“Seems he was lying. Didn’t want his wife to know they were bankrupt. He used my money to keep his household running. All the good it did his dumb ass.”
“What you mean?” Patty Jean went to sit in the other easy chair across from Zelda. She admired the handiwork on the shawl.
“She filed for divorce.”
“Well, I can’t say I’m surprised. Can’t say I’m sorry for him either.”
“I suppose he thought he could take care of things better than how they turned out. Poor boy is nothing like his daddy or granddaddy. I guess the men in our day were different.”
“I think they had to be.”
“Yeah.” Zelda rose up shaking out the shawl. “What do you think of this thing?”
“It’s lovely. Purple is always a good color.”
“I used the last of my good yarn on this.”
“You will be the envy of every woman in this joint.”
“Oh, this isn’t for me, PJ. It’s a gift. For you.”
“Me?” She touched the fabric like it was precious.
“You always be talking about how pretty and nice everything is.” And she was always saying how drafty it was in the common rooms. “Don’t you want it?” Zelda shoved it at her.“I know I’m not the easiest person to share a living space with. And I know you offered to let me stay with you because you felt sorry for me.”
“Oh Zelda, that isn’t true. “
“I didn’t want to belong here, PJ. I didn’t want to be pitiful.”
“Oh girl, being old don’t make you pitiful. Not when you have friends.” Patty Jean tried on the shawl then strutted up to the dresser mirror to admire her own reflection. “Now, what are you going to wear?”
“Me? I’m already dressed.”
“I mean to the dance tonight.”
“Dance?”
“Wear that green dress with the dropped waistline. I heard Basil say you looked cute in it last year.”
“Basil?” He was in his late seventies and boasted that he wasn’t on heart medication. He popped Viagra like they were aspirin. “That sex maniac?”
“He’s not a maniac. Why you always labeling people?”
“What’s a man that young looking at a crippled up old lady like me for?”
“Maybe because you are one of the few women he hasn’t gotten alone behind closed doors yet.”
“Girl, I only had one man in my bed my whole life.”
“But I thought you said you lost your Percy thirty six years ago.”
“Sometimes it feels like it happened just yesterday.”She shuffled over to sit on her full sized bed. Patty Jean didn’t complain about it taking up extra space either. “One thing about being old, you know it won’t be much longer.”
“What won’t be, Zelda?”
“Leaving.”
“Leaving?”
“Leaving this world, PJ. Aren’t you getting tired?”
“I’m old, Zelda. But I’m not ready to leave from anywhere. Look, your grand boy let you down big time, but you have to move on. And it’s very doubtful you’ll meet anyone half as good as your husband, but that don’t mean you can’t enjoy the people around you. In the time you have left you don’t need to be alone.”
“I’m not like you. People don’t like me.”
“That’s because you act all cranky and grouchy. You can be a real drag when you want to be, lady. Do you think this is how your Percy wanted you to end up? Old and tired, dying alone? Come on, Zelda. Put on that green dress,” Patty Jean urged gently then quietly left their room.
“Percy,” Zelda muttered and felt like crying. She lay back on the bed, covering her face and let the tears flow. What was so wrong with only wanting to see him again? Nothing in this world was bright anymore. There were no more songs to sing either. What was left? Just going through the motions of a living woman? Sure, she could do that. Pretend to enjoy her last days just to please others. “Oh God.”
“Zelda.”
She’d heard the voice before but couldn’t believe it was real. Yet, today, she had to believe it. Wanted to with all her heart. Her heart that was now thudding away in her chest, so hard that she wasn’t able to rise.
“Percy, I-” Iwant to be with you, she wanted to say, but her mouth no longer worked. Her body felt light and spent. Darling, where are you? So dark, I can’t see you! Percy!
“Zelda, take my hand.”
“Oh!” She was able to reach out her hands and flay them about searching in the darkness. “Oh!”She felt herself being swiftly pulled from the bed to her feet. Nothing hurt. Her back was straight and her hips felt strong. “Percy!” He was there! So handsome and tall, and strong! She spun around to look at her reflection in the dresser mirror. Relieved, she smiled and her appearance. They were as they were the day they separated.
“Are you ready?”
“Yes! Yes!”
“You keep hold of my hand all the way across the light. You can’t let go. Understand?”
“I’ll never let go. Oh Percy, you came back! And- and we’ll be together?”
“Always. Is that what you want?”
“Yes!”
“Then don’t you let go,” he said grasping and squeezing her hand, then kissed her fingers before kissing her lips.
“And this isn’t another dream?” It couldn’t be. God wasn’t that cruel, not even to someone as ornery as she. No. She was really feeling his mouth on hers and she was holding him in her arms.
~*~
“Zelda!” Patty Jean shook her body and then slapped her a few times, even though she knew the moment she returned to their room that Zelda was gone. Just like that. She’d only been gone ten minutes at the most. But it didn’t take long. Looked like a heart attack. She left Zelda alone on the bed and walked out into the hallway to get an aide’s attention. The aide ran to get the duty nurse. Inside the room she sat in the easy chair and began to sob. “Oh, Zelda. You poor old lady.”
End
About the Author: Sandra Hall is a self-published author of four novels and has recently begun to write short stories. She lives in Caruthersville, Missouri.
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